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shakes .. nervouse ..

Hi .. is there any help for lack of confidence .. it seems that no matter how many compliments i get on my voice i still have little confidence and even when i am home alone singing i feel that shaky nervous fluttery feeling .. like the walls can hear my mistakes lol .. i know that i can sing.. how do i 'let it out' in confidence ..my lack of confidence holds me back from 'feeling' what i am singing and that makes my timing off ..i cant even sing in front of my husband and young children with out that horrible roller coaster butterfly stomach effect .. and now im getting an opportunity to sing in a band and i backed down on taking the lead vocal because im 'scared' so i will be doing back up vocals .. and im still scared... i am excited for this opportunity but scared as h+ll of failure.. maybe its a lot to ask but is there any way to get help with this or do i need a shrink .. lol .. 

Comments

  • 2 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I'd like to add to what Bob said above, and say that 11 years ago, I was the same as you.  The first time I ever sang a song in front of a small crowd at a local pub where it would have had NO effect on my life at all, I was literally a wreck.  Breathing heavy, shaking, could hardly walk up to the mic.  (And it was ONLY an "open mic" night)...

    I've learned that practice, practice, practice will relieve much of that "stage fright", and also that you CANNOT be hard on yourself... don't talk about mistakes during a gig... nobody but you (and maybe a band member or two) will even typically know you made a mistake!

    To this day, I can only remember all the lyrics to a handful of songs, but I can sing a few hundred songs well enough to entertain our crowds... I "cheat" and use lyrics sheets (well, actually, I use a tablet and have them all in PDFs)... I've only had one person express that they thought it was "lame" to use lyrics... but that person could NEVER play drums and sing a variety of several hundred songs in a 3-4 hour session taking requests, either.  WE CAN, and our fans love it!

    Play or sing WHENEVER you get the chance in front of people or crowds at Open Mics, etc, and take all the compliments with a grain of salt, and any criticisms with a pound of salt, but learn from them... don't let them stop you.  The more you sing and practice in front of people, you'll suddenly notice that you hardly get nervous at all!

    If you can remember the lyrics (unlike me... which I think has been with me since I was a child, and part of MY stage fright), then you're way ahead of most people... because many people sing the songs wrong most of the time, anyways, but nobody really knows it!

    Be as prepared as you possibly can, practice a LOT, and perform often!

    Good luck!

  • i have this 'lzzy hale' inside of me .. i dream it .. feel it .. and hear it in my head .. i know that i can do it .. so why is it so hard to relax and just let it happen .. how do i prevent myself from getting so shaky !!! 
  • highmtnhighmtn Posts: 9,916Administrator, Moderator, Enrolled, Pro
    edited March 2015 Vote Up0Vote Down

    @tifit,

    You don't really need a psychiatrist, you need to practice your lessons a lot and rely on your vocal training to be able to have confidence that the things you have learned will carry you through.  You need both training to rely upon AND self-confidence that you can implement your training. 

    We all get the butterflies if we allow them to happen.  I think most of us are focusing on the training that we have and most of our worry goes into wanting to make sure we will remember all the things we've learned and all the things we've practiced.  We can still go onstage and forget everything if we let that happen.  The more we train, however, the more we can rely on things we have put into muscle memory and training.  We kind of go into "auto pilot" from months of working out our voices.

    And then, when the band starts playing, we may have to sometimes look above the crowd, or look at one person we know and trust out there and kind of filter out all of the strangers we don't know, and stop our brain from racing into thinking everyone out there is judging us and thinks we sound awful.  They really don't think that.  They want us to succeed. 

    Doing vocal exercises can toughen up our voices and help us to know that we KNOW how to hit those notes.

    One thing that we stress at KTVA that can directly benefit that wobbly feeling in the abdominal area is the concept of vocal support.  That can really be helpful if our voices are trembling to begin with, we can really turn up the support mechanism and stabilize that wobbly feeling into something closer to a solid rock foundation.

    There are some good videos in the Webinars that are posted in the Videos for KTVA students.  There is at least one on How to Avoid Stage Fright.

    Most of our lack of confidence comes from self-doubt.  We do need to know how to really sing, but after that, we have to quit beating ourselves up and start believing in ourselves with a little more confidence.

    It's good that you're at least going into a role as a backup singer, in that you can get more comfortable with being on stage. The more you do it, the less you will feel like you're uncomfortable, and the more you can enjoy yourself in that environment.  Knowing that you can do it is half the battle.  Now believe it, don't just know it.  Then go for it.  Don't settle for backup singer in the long run.  As you begin to build your confidence start taking on a song or two as Lead Singer.  Then take another.  And another...

    Lzzy Hale is a great role model.  I'm sure Lzzy had some times where she wasn't so sure she could pull it off, but look at her now.  If she's faking it, she's doing a great job.  A lot of things in life that we're not sure of, we just have to "Fake it till you Make it".  Go for it, and it will  happen for you.

    All the Best!

    Bob

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