Oh, well. I'm really very upset right now with my own vocal skills. And Ken's programm is my last chance, because if that won't help, than no one does. I had two personal vocal couches, but all problems remained. Recently I screwd a few songs in the studio that sound very bad to me and mostly because of my not-so skilled singing.
I had a very long and crooky path in music. I started to sing being 2 years old. At 6 parents brought me to music school, but there were not vacant places at vocal class at the time and I was enrolled to study violine. And 8 years I was leraning to play violine not really loving it from the start. As for the singing, I learned to sing myself and did it wronly I guess. I also sang in the children's choir and even had been a soloist there for a while, but no one actually taught us proper technigue there. At the age of 13 I began to write my own songs and performed them in front of my classmates. But unfortunately at that time when I was growing up, there were no Internet, no talent shows and nothing what modern kids have. Plus I was singing in English and always wanted to sing rock, and even a heavy rock, and in my country of origin it was almost impossible at the time. So, no chance of becoming child prodigy
At the age of 23 I recieved some prize in screenwriting and went to USA for a while, where I recorded my demo song at some small home studio. When I returned home I started to search for the band and for possibilities to do my music, using that demo. But it wasn't easy.
In the topic about critisism on this forum in "Psychology of singing" section I read how band members abuse singers and about harsh critisims that takes place toward singers, so I'm not alone here (and I already very thankfull to this community, because it made me understood my problem was common) So, situation was the same in whatever band I tried to step in - I heard that I sing badly, that my voice is too high (too quiet, too child-like etc) for singing rock.
I was on and off with singing (quitting after another fail and starting all over again because I can not not to sing) untill I realize that it's now or never. I have this gift of songwriting and I want to be able to sing my own songs myself, because they're telling MY story.
I don't know if problems that I have is common or not. Technically I have a 3 octave range (from D3 to D6, sometimes even up to E6) but I can use properly less than octave from F4 to E5. This is where I sound bright, strong and even feel comfortable enough to apply some destortion or sort. From F5 to D6 I only may sing in lighter mode or in some classical manner (usually I use it for backing vocals) My real HUGE problem appears at B3-E4, I almost whisper there, no one of couches were able to slove that problem for me. And this is where my voice cracks, it goes somewhere backwards, loses volume and brightenss and everything. And if I try to push it it sounds so damn ugly. From A3 down to D3 it somehow sounds again a bit stronger, but still not as strong as on higher notes and the tone is also isn't realy great. Can anyone explain to me what's going on there? I really wish to improve my voice at this lower parts of my range and to make it bright and beautiful there, and I wish to get rid of all those mistakes I make even when I sing in my comfortable zone.
And also I noticed that I sing much better at home practicling or on stage when I let lose somehow (although it's not really often when I sing in public) but when I come to the studio, the fear of doing it all wrong (I guess this is a trauma from so much critic I recieved on my singing) is blocking my vocal chords and I sing the worst of what's possible...
Oh yeah, I fogort to tell that this year I passed through first part of auditioning for Voice of Finland, but second part of auditioning was my end. It of course wasn't good for self-esteem either.
I also hope to solve some articulation problems, since English is not my native language,since proper vocal techigue relate to this as well...
Sorry for such a large post, but I needed to speak