I just posted my first singer/songwriter vlog

Comments

• Elara Moderator, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 354

  April 3

  Hi @michaelmusic ,
  
  I like the idea of a vlog, and I think you have the self-confidence to do it well. I'm going to give some feedback and suggestions, and I hope you find them useful.
  
  The video doesn't have a sense of narrative. It was all over the place. For this to be effective, it needs to catch and keep the attention of viewers, which means story-telling tension. You need a beginning, middle, and end in the form of a goal, what you do to achieve it, and whether it works. Viewers need to become invested and watch until the end to see how you do.
  
  You talk about working a day job, but what you show is you sitting around doing nothing. You talk about a song from 8 months ago that meant so little to you that you didn't upload it and forgot about it. Then you expect us to listen to it. I stopped the video at that point, because why would I spend my time on that? Contrast this with this suggestion:
  
  You start by setting a goal. You have an old song that you want to rework. Specifically, the chorus (as an example). You play us the chorus and tell us what you don't like about it, and what your goal is for it. The aim of the day is to fix it. This happens at the breakfast/before work stage.
  You then head out and go to work, saying see you later as you enter your blurred-out place of work.
  Break time. You find somewhere nice and work on your chorus. Shots of you working in a notebook.
  Back to work.
  Another break. You need to mentally refresh, so you take a break to relax. Cue pretty surroundings and dog.
  Traveling home. Updating the viewer on what you've achieved and what you're about to when you get home.
  Post dinner. Focused work on final part of fixing the chorus.
  End of day. An announcement that you've done it, and an idea of what you need to work on next.
  
  This kind of flow would mean that we get a proper glimpse into a working songwriter's day. We would see you work at it.
  
  Regarding the filming, the outside scenes were nice. Something I personally didn't like was you rocking in your chair towards and away from the camera. This also messed up your camera focus, as it was sometimes fixed on the wall behind you, leaving your face blurry. I suggest sitting back comfortably and relaxed, and staying there. The parts where you loomed over the camera felt way too intimate, and made me think, "back off, dude, or I'll mace you".
  
  My main feedback is to make sure you have a narrative arc in mind for each video, and for your entire series of vlogs, and to keep it in mind. Coachella works as a distant end goal for the series, not your next goal (it's too unlikely for that, to me), so the series could be about how you work towards that in planned steps, with leeway for taking advantage of opportunities as they come your way.
  
  I hope you find this motivating rather than cruel.

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• charlie_v Moderator, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 228

  April 6

  
  Hi @michaelmusic
  
  What’s your dream? What timescale have you identified? What steps do you need to take? What further development of your voice are you seeking?

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