Advice On Practicing With Family At Home

rilo98

I really want to practice and become a great singer, but currently I still live at home with a family of 5 (with two brothers) and whenever I want to practice I get super self-consicous and end up not singing at all. Especially the time I practice is the afternoon when everyone is coming home from work and school tired and stressed then I start to belt and I believe that they are saying "God here he goes again!"
I try to psych my self up, telling myself "I don't care if they hear, I love singing and I'm gonna work on it" and "JUST F**KING DO IT!" but then I go to try a sing the nice, bright AH vowel and can't bring myself to do it! I end up just giving up and losing all motiviation.
It's funny cause my family know I'm into music (I play guitar also but I'm really confident at that) and I used to sing 1-2 years ago but stopped. Now I want to practice again but I can't get out of my head!
It's not a "stage fright" thing because I also act and have performed before; and I believe I have pretty average voice (not terrible, just needs work) It's just doing the warm up exercises and practicing what I'm bad at, knowing I don't sound the most pleasant in that moment, is what I'm afraid of.
I'm aware it's most likely just a mental hurdle to get over; and I have to just bite the bullet sooner or later BUT any tips or advice you can give me to get through this? Have any of you guys experienced something similar and got through it?
Thanks!

doc_ramadani

Hi Riley,

I am Marco, I am 48 years old and father of 4. The boys are 15 and 13. The girls 13 and 12. Each of them learns an instrument. So you can imagine that there is sometimes a little noise when I come home from work. Even if it is sometimes a little annoying to hear Beethovens "For Elise" the 1000th time, I really enjoy that my kids are making music.

I think that you are making a mental mistake. YOU THINK that your family thinks "God here he goes again!" - but you don't know it. This are YOUR thoughts. Go to the extreme: ASK THEM! Maybe you are amazed at how they really think.

Regards,
Doc

[Deleted User]

I always just tell the people in my house : "If you hear any strange noises coming from downstairs, it's just me practicing scales".

That way I don't worry about making mistakes.

Peace, Tony

Gaston_Jauregui

@rileydo hello, in case that what @doc_ramadani doesnt work and your family isnt really willing to listen to your training, at least all the time (this meaning ask them, because maybe they are willing but not everyday, so you could kind of agree certain hours or something) Ken always talks about something he had to do when he was touring the world, in order to train in the hotels he was staying, and that´s "pillow singing" this means training the scales with a pillow on your mouth, just make sure you double check if you arent over singing every once in a while,(this happened to me) because, usually, you want to hear your voice and since you have a pillow covering it, you will hear a lot less volume than the habitual, this means, you will try to compensate the volume you arent hearing and.... you will blow your voice, so every now and then do one without the pillow, plus you really want to double check if your sound is homogeneous in every vowel etc

bentk

Hi Riley,

I would have a good conversation with everybody. Someone singing scales constantly is not the most entertaining thing to hear, especially not 5+ days a week. Make them understand that it might not sound great, especially at the beginning, so they understand it's a lengthy learning process. But it's something you really want, just like learning an instrument. On top of this, you want to choose the room where they can hear the least. I know it's obvious. But even a single door can dampen a lot of the sound.

All the best,

Ben

irenevanh

My husband hates the warm-up scales but he is terribly proud of me when the practice shows in the pieces I sing after.

It only takes a couple weeks to notice beautiful changes so if you feel bad, give them a little something to look forward to and work up your siblings favourite songs.

When I start getting into my voice practices I usually spend a week or two just on the intro warm ups in Volume 1 which probably takes a maximum of 15 minutes and have great results for the amount time it takes. When all else fails, I just try to get people to join me . Singing stimulates serratonin and feel good chemicals after all! Lol.

Furious_Phil

Try to make light of it. I constantly make jokes about my crazy vocal noise time in the basement.
I joke that I am strangling a cat, so whenever I do good, they're all like "Hey, that was really cool!"
We are typically our own worst enemies, so learn to ease up on yourself and enjoy the journey

[Deleted User]

Hey Riley,

When I started the program I ran into the same thing. I was embarrassed to do my exercises knowing everybody in the house would hear me. They would even make fun of me when I walked into a room. They would start doing the Lah-ah's, and laugh, but thats what turned it around.

If they were laughing, then that means they weren't mad about the noise so I started to really get into it, and they don't tease me anymore. In fact my Brother the other day commented that he thought I was really starting to sound good, and more professional than the guys we had in my band previously.

So keep practicing knowing that the pay off is going to be well worth it in the end.

Peace, Tony

Vocality

@rileydo Think we all have these issues especially when starting out, on what people think of how we sound. I have been laughed at a couple of times, took it to heart and I shouldn't have because only just beginning this journey.

Now 6 weeks in, noticing a big improvement in my voice and really excited what the future holds.

Regards
George

Jazzyoh

i have a wife an daughter who are not all that supportive of music so i sometimes practice through a good pair of closed back headphones. It shuts out all the background noise so i am kind of in my own little world and can concentrate more. i soon forget there are other people in the house. i use the DT 770 pro headphones.

highmtn

I have the DT770 phones as well. They sound good and are comfortable for long periods of time.

MikeyParent

doc_ramadani said:

Hi Riley,

I am Marco, I am 48 years old and father of 4. The boys are 15 and 13. The girls 13 and 12. Each of them learns an instrument. So you can imagine that there is sometimes a little noise when I come home from work. Even if it is sometimes a little annoying to hear Beethovens "For Elise" the 1000th time, I really enjoy that my kids are making music.

I think that you are making a mental mistake. YOU THINK that your family thinks "God here he goes again!" - but you don't know it. This are YOUR thoughts. Go to the extreme: ASK THEM! Maybe you are amazed at how they really think.

Regards,
Doc

1) You have 4 kids spaced 5 years apart?! Holy man - I have one and I couldn't imagine managing 4 all pre-school age!
2) How/when do YOU find the time ability to practice?

This is an issue I have with a wife and child (who is older) I feel like I am disturbing everyone. I mostly practice in the car which I know is not ideal.

NickW

Yes, the car (in lack of a basement) is preferred option 1, despite all the shortcomings, its my bubble and i dont care when i am in it (maybe at traffic lights with many pedestrians i turn it down a bit) or on the army base, which i figure is a specific thing so no worry for you

At home (i live alone and sometimes gf) i was very selfconcious. Its an appartment with 3 rooms but surrounded by neighbours above, below and to the left. On the right there is a stairway that functions as an accoustic enhancer, which worries me beyond singing as its next to where i ehh sleep.

I tried pillows first for scales, but the downside is oxygen and its hot. Plus you have to balance and pressure the thing. And for recording songs its obviously a no go, unless you aim to find a musical niche as pillow man artist. (Good luck with that.)

Secondly i went to the hard ware store and bought those accoustic sound blocking pads to hang on (1/5th) of the walls and 100% on the adjoining doors.

Finally i bought something called a beltingmask on amazon (and in one case i combined that with an wrongly ordered troy portable sound box over the front of my head haha). That worked great untill this week my 81 year old neighbour complained in a very frustrated sms at 2130. (I did the piano audio workout on headphone and then recorded about 10 collabs on smule using headphones so she did hear my voice a bit i guess. Especially some poppy falsetto, passionate Otis and the queen belts i guess). Basically emontionally i am back to square 1. I do feel my measures helped a lot and block out like 50% of the noise and the belt mask another 25% but that she has specific "i need silence issues". Just for info, im 36, not that it matters but to make the point i dont live in a home for the elderly so you, the reader, can relate better

My final option (other than moving), i heard i can buy like a 360 + roof box where i can stand in with my tablet. I may pursue this line .

Generally speaking i can say that yes, talking with family helps and they will likely accept you and love you all the same. But bros will be bros and tease you at least in the beginning when your showing some vulnerability, in the end they are probably inspired by the passion (i have 4).
Taking precautionary measures helps too, for your feeling. Take a stapler gun and buy padding (accoustic absorption), hang up blankets that kind of thing, and you will feel a bit better.

Lastly, when you move out try not to have neighbours in all directions in the new place😅
@rileydo

Edit: i got the box, it solved 60% of my problems and helped my singing but it was sooo expensive. Isovox 2 is the name

KenfromCZ

@rileydo Do you can try some bunker in the fields. From 2. world war. But watch out for wild boars. They hate singing beginners. Bring your guitar and shotgun. For first exercise shotgun only will enough....😅