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Confidence level sinking

jpachecolmjpachecolm Enrolled, 2.0 PRO Posts: 40
edited January 2014 in Psychology of Singing
I'm just looking for advice on how I can get past my fear I have developed of singing in front of others. I have watched Ken's video on stagefright, but I'm still looking for answers. I know I can sing and I do so well when I'm practicing to the videos and cd's and also when I'm practicing songs, but for some reason I always make excuses or avoid situations where I'm asked to perform in front of others. I just get so nervous and self doubting that I'm at the point to where I think I should just quit singing. I love to sing and I always have, but my fear is so strong that it gets me down on my abilities. I practice religiously daily and I have seen improvement in the last three of months of using the program, but when it comes to performing, I worry myself to death. I see others singers locally and those that I know and there is no doubt that my abilities are right there with theirs, but my fear won't ever let that be known. It's psychological I know, but how do I tell myself it's ok to make mistakes and that I'm not going to die? It's at the point where I'm seriously thinking of searching for a singer for our band, even though I know I can and have been doing it. I would hate to through away my time, gains I've made and money just because I can't get past my fear of performing for anyone outside my circle (even then, my fear limits me!). I seriously need some advice on this topic anyone can help me with...
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  • highmtnhighmtn Administrator, Moderator, Enrolled, Pro, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 15,380

    jpachecolm,

    Your fear is a developed thing.  You can also develop the ability to enjoy, rather than dread, performing vocally. 

    As human beings, we psyche ourselves out sometimes and avoid things that are good for us, or fun to do because of silly reasons.  Those "reasons" may be the thought that others might disapprove of us, or think that we don't deserve to try to sing.

    The reality is that those thoughts are nothing more than a LIE from the PIT of HELL.  Guess who is telling you that in the back of your mind?  It's not your friend, or anyone you should be listening to.

    Take my advice.  Don't listen to that jerk any more! 

    You can do this.  You want to do it.  Don't let any fearful thought or any form of evil deprive you of your God-Given Gift of song!  You were created to rejoice and to sing from your heart!

    We're Rooting for you!  Set dates to perform and go out and do it!  And do it again.  And again. 

    You will survive.  Let yourself enjoy the process.  Look forward to it and enjoy looking forward to it.  Enjoy the performance in the moment, and look forward to enjoying the performance in the moment.

    Look back on the performances after they have happened and enjoy the memory in the moment of remembering, just like when you enjoyed it as it was happening. 

    You were born to have joy!  So start having some!  NOW!!!! 

    :^)

     

    Bob

     

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  • jpachecolmjpachecolm Enrolled, 2.0 PRO Posts: 40

    Thanks Bob for the vote of confidence. I just returned from practicing in my zero degree garage because i wanted to "warm up" and practice a little while everyone was asleep. If I can gut out a freezing garage, not the best idea, I'm telling myself I love to sing. I need to enjoy this ride like you say and not listen to the "jerk". I just need positive reinforcement every now and then to keep me going, I guess.

    I'm not going to give up something I love and enjoy due to fear, I can't. I do not want to look back and say, "If only I had"....

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  • voodoovoodoo Pro Posts: 250
    At your first shows, start off with 5 songs that are extremely easy.  Focus on someone there that you're comfortable singing in front of, interact with your band mates more, or if nothing else close your eyes when singing some (sway or bob your head and the crowd will just think you're into the music).  Focus harder on the technique of hitting notes and you will have less time to worry about any self-induced fears.
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  • jpachecolmjpachecolm Enrolled, 2.0 PRO Posts: 40
    Cool, I will try this out. I know that I can conquer this! I speak everyday in front of 40+ employees and I don't even think about it. I don't understand what my fear is????
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  • timliu92timliu92 Member Posts: 65
    @jpachecolm Hey, I know what you are thinking. It was hard for me at first too.

    The best way to conquer that fear is by continuing to sing on public. I used to have that fear also, which inhibits my singing abilities in front of other people, but when I realize that most people are not as bad as I thought they would have, I just continue to sing. Accordingly, my abilities to perform on stage in front of others have also improved, even for more difficult tunes. So just keep singing! You will get there someday. :)
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