Im worried I’ve destroyed my voice permanently any advice?

Ellwoo

Hi, so there is multiple questions that go with this:

Do you think I have nodules if so would they have developed into permanent calluses after 2 months of singing like a maniac?

Can I fix my voice if I have nodules/ calluses.

Is my head/ mixed voice just developing slowly seen as I’ve only had it for 2 months?

Do nodules only affect head voice?(excluding falsetto)

Should I go to the doctors?

So I started singing a lot about 4 and a half months ago. And until about 2 months ago I sang like an absolute maniac; belting in my chest voice, screaming and distorting my voice like Kurt Cobain every time my voice hurt after screaming I would rest my voice for 1-2 days before doing it again. And every day my voice hurt less and less after singing (screaming) which makes me worried that I have nodules that have turned into permanent calluses...

So about 2 months ago I accidentally discovered I had a head voice by singing ‘Do Re Mi’ by Nirvana. (At that time I didn’t know what on earth head voice or chest voice was) So when I used my head voice for the first time I could barely access and it was very weak, breathy and gravelly (think of Axl Rose if he was on his deathbed) and I coughed every time I used it. So after about a week of practicing accessing my head voice I managed to increase my range from C2-E4 (Chest Voice) to C2-F#5. (using head voice after warming up) After 2 months of having access to head voice it has become easier to control and project but I still have this horrible, breathy, weak, thin tone to my head voice. Also as soon as I found my head voice I stopped singing like a maniac and decided I wanted to sing properly.

So after 2 months of a horrible breathy sounding head voice, I thought to myself: did my singing like a maniac in chest voice affect my head voice that I didn’t even have access to back then? If so why does my chest voice and falsetto still sound the same as before I ever started singing (Clean, and clear, not raspy or breathy at all) but my head voice is the only thing affected? Please help...

Also as a bit of side information if needed?

I have always had access to my falsetto and have a clean tone, and control it well. And my highest falsetto note was a G6.

My throat doesn’t hurt and I’m not raspy or hoarse when I speak normally.

I also discovered my middle voice about 3 weeks ago which is also quite weak and breathy but not as bad as my head voice.

I have tried using lip trills and vocal fry on my head voice, and it gives me a semi- clean tone for a few minutes and then goes back to its original horrible tone.

I would post a video of my voice here but I don’t know how...

Thanks for reading and I really appreciate any answers or advice.

Raphael_Hussl

Hello Ellwoo,
without having heard your voice it is hard to ultimately judge whether or not you have nodules but at least from what you wrote and taken into account my own experience I don't really think you have. Nodules normally evolve when the voice repeatedly gets exhausted over longer periods of time and when you say your chest and speaking voice and falsetto sound clean that sounds like an indicator that your problem may not be as bad as you first thought it is. I also remember one day a couple of years ago when I went to an ENT doctor because I was worried I had done damage to my voice. What caused me to be that worried back then was that I noticed sort of a gravelly tone to my speaking and chest voice that I couldn't get rid of. When the doctor looked into my throat she said she couldn't find any signs for nodules and that the vocal cords themselves didn't look damaged but that they looked a little red and sore. Maybe in your case things could turn out quite similar. You can also go to an ENT specialist if this is causing you serious anxiety but anyway I think this can never be a bad decision. A lot of ENT specialists today also have the possibility to put a little camera through your nose way down to the throat so you can really see by yourself what the vocal cords look like (in my case I can also say, as I have been to ENT specialists two times in my life that this was also the least painful possibility because the other time the doctor looked into my throat directly through my open mouth and because I couldn't keep my tongue relaxed it had to be numbed at first which was a very unpleasant feeling). So, back to your particular problem: of course there is no question that you should no longer do any singing-like-a-maniac kind of stuff and instead learn correct singing. And regarding your problem with the head voice that you say sounds very weak and breathy as you have just discovered it: this sounds to me as if this way of phonating is just not very developped in your voice because of the singing habits you have had before. So if there is one advice I can give you right now for your singing learning process it would be to focus primarily on learning correct breath support. You can still sing for fun or practise anything you want but don't get caught up in trying to fix any kind of head voice problems or other specific things unless you haven't developped this the right way first. I can imagine that a lot of your current problems will dissolve over time the better you get at this and the more you get an understanding of how this works. There is a lot of free information about this on youtube and if you should one day decide to get the KTVA Course you will also have the opportunity to get more detailed help for all kinds of issues in the students areas of this forum. So I hope this was helpful, best wishes for your future singing journey and greetings,
Raphael

Ellwoo

Thanks a lot Raphael. Hopefully you’re right that it is just an underdeveloped head voice, if there is no improvement in a couple of weeks I’ll definitely see a specialist to check out my cords.

Raphael_Hussl

You're welcome
Try to think of it more in this way: your voice is a combination of all different kinds of things that you do in particular ways rather than in others. Some of them you do consciously and some uncounsciously and some are healthy while others are not. What I meant by saying your head voice is not correctly developed is that your head voice probably didn't even get the chance to phonate correctly because the way you were doing certain things before blocked it. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you will be able to solve this problem by trying to get your head voice "more developed" by practising it all the time because then there still might be other things that you aren't even aware of now that you could be doing in a way that blocks your head voice from developing further. Like I also said before I think it is never wrong to go see a specialist to check if the cords are alright and there should never be anything about it to be afraid of. So, to put it in a nutshell I'm trying to say that if your main focus is on trying to learn the basics of singing the right way then with time and practice you should be noticing yourself doing more and more things in more correct ways then before. If you are really serious about learning to sing then maybe purchasing the course one day could be worth a thought for you. Of course there is also good free information out there for you to start with, there just will come a point where you will need more detailed information if you want to develop the full potential of your voice.

Chris82

If you think you are having serious vocal issues then don;t ask around the internet. Go and see a qualified ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) doctor to get diagnosed and begin any treatment therapy if it is required.