Feedback on my song?

The description in YouTube describes it best, I suppose. I know it's not the greatest, but it's my 2nd song I ever wrote/sang & put where people can see it. So, I'm curious as to what people think of it. I'm working through the KTVA material because I know my singing quality is bad, but not sure how to fix it. Maybe I'm just one of those people whose voice just wasn't made for singing...


  • HuduVuduHuduVudu 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,818
    What key is this song in? What are the first say ... fifteen notes of your melody line for the song?
  • jonbouriaquejonbouriaque 2.0 PRO Posts: 23
    It's blues in E, so, being blues, you may hear (assuming I'm in key) an occasional flatted 3rd (G) or 7th (D). Opening notes are B C# E C# G# F# G# F# G# E...
  • HuduVuduHuduVudu 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,818
    Ok ... kewl.

    Now ... here is what you need to do, play your melody line on the piano. Do it in time as you would sing it. After you get that down then, use AH to sing each note. Ensure that you are in key as you do this. Use something like SingScope to see how your voice is projecting out. It is important that you are not hunting for notes. Make sure that you make the note clean, preferable drop quickly to it. After you get everything on target then add your words in but ensure that you don't add a bunch of consonants in. Work to make the sound smooth with very minimal consonants.

    Use this as a guide:

  • jonbouriaquejonbouriaque 2.0 PRO Posts: 23
    yeah... watched this about 10 times..., plus daily exercises. I'm hoping for an evaluation of how I sang my song. It sounds "off" (boring??) but what's wrong with it? what would make it better?
  • HuduVuduHuduVudu 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,818
    Are you looking for comments on the song i.e. how it is put together it's impact, or are you looking for feedback on how you sang your song?

    One thing that I noted was that you couldn't hit the notes quickly enough. You kinda rode into the note from another note. Our ears are very sensitive to that and we perceive it as being off pitch. The reason that I suggested that you do the melody was to help correct that. Your melody line had a TON of that happening. It was very difficult to actually evaluate the song for what it is, because of this.
  • jonbouriaquejonbouriaque 2.0 PRO Posts: 23
    Ok. So, a better approach would be to leave "space" between the lines? Not hold the "long" note so long? Something to that effect?
  • crizzicocrizzico Member Posts: 6
    Would you please listen to my rendition and tell me how I can improve?

    Thank you, Charlene

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