Original Song 'Waiting for the Sunrise'

RLV

I wrote, played guitar, sung and produced this song yesterday.
Would love some feedback on it! Thanks in advance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAobSWLVneM

codeowl

@Jawl,

Hey mate, I think the song has a nice cruisy feel to it. I could imagine it being played in a pub or while on holiday at night with drinks on the beach... I think it would be awesome if you added a bridge where you could add some tension or build up a bit, followed by a cool guitar solo that improvised around the melody.

I think you could work on timing a bit more, and enunciating the words and syllables a bit clearer.
For example, I can't actually work out what the words of the first line are. I think the first two words are "I love..." but after that I am lost. I played it a few times trying to work it out... and the words "I love...", I am just guessing as there is no "L" sound in "love"... just doing some experimenting here, when I sing "I love", at the start of the word "love" the tip of my tongue touches the back of my top teeth, in order to make the "L" sound in the start of "love". The act of
doing this creates a break between the word "I" and the word "love", and makes it easier to understand the sentence.
Another example is in the chorus when you sing "waitin on the sunrise" (an awesome lyric by the way ), you kind of cut the "n" out of sunrise, so it sounds like "surriiise".
The first line of the verse staring at the 1:27 mark is also hard to make out... It starts with the word "I" that is all I could work out, and the next line starting at 1:29 I could get "I count"... but that was it...

You are doing a great job on the vowels, they sound awesome, good resonance and great tone. But its the consonants around the vowels that really enunciate the words and make them recognizable. There is some utility in blending consonants that have hard stops, so it is one contiguous sound from one word to the next, Ken talks about this in his awesome article on Belting. But I think on words like "sunrise" you could totally sing the "n" in as it is not a hard stop like say for example the "t" in the word "hut" is. You could use that as a rule as to when to blend out consonants, eg; when it has utility of avoiding hard stops.

I think if people can easily understand the words of the song they can connect with the story you are telling as it may tell their story, or the story of someone they care about.

I do think the song has great potential, and if you can tighten up the enunciating of lyrics people can relax into the song and its story, and just really enjoy it.

Great work mate, keep it up!!

Regards,

Scotty