Home Psychology of Singing

Don't Let Others Define You!

bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
I thought I would share a little on my story in hopes that it might help someone:

I started singing when I was very young. I had all the advantages for which I could ask. I was involved with great choirs all throughout my grade school, and highschool years. I also had a great love for rock n roll, particularly heavier stuff. I was fortunate to play guitar and sing in several bands in high school. I met with a lot of success and praise! And, like so many others, I would sing along with the radio.

At 19 I worked with a gentleman named Rick, doing carpentry work. He was older than I, and had a lot of experience in the world. Most notably, he had a 4 track recording studio in his home, which led me to believe that he was an expert on music. One day we were working in his shop and I was singing along with the radio. I believe the song was by RUSH, and I was really singing it with all my might. Rick turned to me and said, "Don't sing! You sound like a f$cking chick!" I was shocked! I really had not ever been criticised like that, and this was coming from someone that I thought was an expert.

Looking back, I realize that it was absurd to let him shut me up, but at the time his critique was profound. It actually caused be to take a completely different direction in my singing. I quit playing Rock and joined a Country band where I would sing the low classic country songs. I was very good at that, and things went very smoothly for me, except that I would never allow myself to sing Falsetto, or head voice, for fear that I would sound feminine.

This was both a blessing and a curse. It caused me to stretch my chest voice a great deal, but it also limited me from singing the music that I most loved. Years later and after recording myself many times, I realized how very wrong, Rick had been. I decided that I would work on making up the lost ground on my head voice. In researching how to develop a plan, I came across the concept of mixed voice, and realized that I had been appling much of this technique for a very long time. I just laughed when people would comment that I shouldn't be able to sing "that high" in full voice.

I decided that the most effective way for me to learn mixed voice mastery would be here at KTVA. So I am trudging through the lessons and learning as much as I can. So far I am quite inspired and looking forward to reaching my goals.

I hope that your take away from this is that no one is allowed to define you! Each of us struggle in different ways. Weather it is range, pitch, or timbre, we each have triumphs and shortcomings. Don't let someone shut you up! Find your voice and sing out!


  • codeowlcodeowl 2.0 PRO Posts: 304

    Hey mate, thanks for sharing your story, very inspirational!!
    Having such a strong chest voice I think you will be in a great position to take your head voice to the next level. I look forward to hearing your progress.


  • MatsyMatsy Pro Posts: 168
    edited May 2021
    When I was very young I was told I sing like a girl. I was flattered 😂. But I understand once you get older people’s version of what “masculinity” should look like kicks in and woebetide anyone who dares step out of that mold.

    For so many years I received grief over my higher pitched voice and it’s incredible how devastating that can be to your self confidence and pursuing your dreams. It’s great that you got to the point where you realised that Rick was wrong and really had no business telling you what you should do or how you should be.

    Looking forward to hearing you rock those “chick” notes!
  • bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
    Thanks so much! I have realized that allowing others to define me is a core problem for me, not only with singing but in other ways as well. I am learning to overcome this but it is a long process!
  • bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
    Here is example of my progress:
  • sjonrokz4usjonrokz4u 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,284
    You never dug in for the really high stuff but it sounded nice. Sounds like a touch of Jon Anderson in the way you do some of your vowels
  • bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
    Thanks! still very much a work in progress. Jon Anderson is one of my favorites as well. Glad to have that comparison.
  • HumanRobotHumanRobot Member Posts: 220

    Here is example of my progress:


    wow what a great voice you have - I loved this and the song is fantastic,

    I LOVED THIS - - Just Fantastic - I Loved this xxx

    Human Robot
  • bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
  • FretlessTheBardFretlessTheBard 2.0 PRO Posts: 92
    FWIW, for many years I had no idea that Geddy Lee wasn't female because of how he sings. You can take Rick's criticism as high praise that you were doing so well at emulating Lee!

    You sound great doing closer to the heart, by the way. Keep it up!
  • bikerdaddybikerdaddy 2.0 ENROLLED, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 17
    Thanks for your affirmation! As I progress through this course, I am learning more and more about how to utilize the head voice, and it is really improving my overall repertoire.
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