Mental illness general Anxiety Affecting my voice. 2 years of training gone.

Hansolo

Hello , I’ve been taking Ken’s course for about two years now and I had reached volume 3 and was improving a lot with my singing to the point where I was seriously considering a career as an Artist and self recording producer , even pumped out a few songs but then unexpectedly I had a mental health episode where for about 5 months now I’ve been dealing with general anxiety and panic attacks. Ever since then when I try and go back to singing the songs I had no issues singing my voice will crack in the most random moments or it seems like my ability to belt or use vowel modifications just completely went out the window. I looked into it a little and learned that anxiety can affect your singing because of the muscle tension in the neck and throat it causes but I was just putting this out there to see if anyone else has been through This situation and what has worked for them to gain control of their voice again.
2 years of progress down the drain, I feel like I’m singing worse now then when I first started.
Even fully warmed up I get random phonation interruptions as well and it feels like there’s absolutely nothing I can do to have a consistent and reliable voice anymore
Thanks in advance -Han

Klaus_T

sorry to hear about your mental health struggle. while i don't have experience with this particular situation, i can say this much:

it won't have all been for nothing, you will still have built muscle and muscle memory. yes it might have gotten a bit rusty in the forced break but not completely vanished. the ambitions you have in combination with the current frustrations will probably add tension.

what people should do after longer breaks (with any physical activity really), is start small and not go back to where they left off. this is where you get frustrated and/or injured. think of someone who lifted weights, say benchpressed 100kg, he has a long break from an illness and goes back to the same weight he used before the break, is that a good idea? no. much better to use a smaller weight and then slightly go up as you get comfortable again. will it take this person as long as he originally needed to get to 100kg? probably not. the muscles have been there and the brain tissue to go with it. they will need some refreshing but it will be faster than starting from zero.

so in your case, i suggest, be gentle, go to the starters for a few days, vol 1 for a bit and see how this goes. remember to reduce the sound pressure for good bridging and be gentle overall. you will see that you can move forward to vol 2 and 3 in no time, but don't rush it or compare your "now" with the "before". at some point you will have caught up and improve beyond your "before".

all the best for you