How to deal with people's dislike of your voice and training

matt53

Hey I've been working on my voice for about three years and Ken's program for about six months. I have learned how to sing in high full voice, by my own standards, pretty well. I feel I can sing Robert Plant repertoire decently (I am a high baritone) but my friends and my family constantly criticize my voice and my ambitions. I will post some videos of my singing but I am feeling pretty discouraged because my dream is to sing Steve Perry/Stevie Wonder stuff, etc. in a wedding band and I KNOW with a lot of hard work I could do it and make it sound great.

Ken Tamplin

Truth be known, even when I do my exercises to this day, as I am warming up I sound like a dying dog. After about 40 minutes or so it finally starts to sound like actual notes ha ha.

EVERYONE starts somewhere and gorws from there.

I have heard demos of some of my favorite singers early on before they became "somebody" and many of them candidly just sounded pretty bad.

Keep at it, success WILL come :-)

matt53

Thanks so much, Ken. This means alot to me. What is most hurtful about my friends' criticism is that I spend about two hours a day with my warmups and practicing singing. I also play guitar and piano, but it seems that hitting a foul note or two in singing gets me a heck of alot more criticism than with playing an instrument.

Joseph

Matt53, Keep at it. I too sound like a dying dog during my practise sessions and there's good reason for it. We a trying a build a voice. Firstly, we are stretching the EXTREMITIES. Secondly we are EXPERIMENTING. If you can sing Robert Plant decently, then wow, that's excellent. You should be striving to mimic anyone you desire to (perry,wonder,etc). I have my doubters to. But I've dreamed of singing ever since I cold remember and I'm not going to have anyone stop me even if it takes me the rest of,y life to get here. Good singing to ya. If you need support to battle against your doubters, this forum is the place to be. Everyone here can identify with you. This program and forum is brilliant.

matt53

Thanks, Joseph. Your comment means alot to me and I wish you the very best of success in your singing and musical endeavors. My feelings have been very hurt by my friends who I jam with every week. None of them, by the way, can sing above middle C or in tune, yet they put down my singing to the point I don't feel like jamming with them anymore. I guess all I can do is keep working at it and get some thick skin lol.

bluesbird

Haters, haters, everywhere....!!!!

Been dealing with this from day ONE in music. Even when there are no mistakes, someone will find something bad to say, just for the spite of it.

Recently I was reading the comments under a Joe Bonamassa video...out of the blue, people stared a sick comparison between him and Jimmy Page...and oh, what foul and unfair things they were writing about poor Joe...and of course it went to show that little they knew about guitar playing, but their spiteful venom filled their veins...!!

Another similar incident under a wonderful video of Fitz and the Tantrums, where Noelle Scaggs, the backing vocalist, was singing lead. They burried the girl, and she is indeed a wonderful singer!! The stupid comments under that video, oh dear..I wanted to shoot' em all.

Be a good singer for yourself. If you have ambitions, never share them with anyone, except your trainers. The higher your ambitions, the fiercer you'll be attacked by your "friends"...and "family"...take my word on it.

bluesbird

@cgreen:

Fortunately I stopped taking in mind what everyone says about me, some time ago. Here is a place where I don't mind any negative critique, because it's for my benefit and only for that, and in fact, like everybody, I really want to hear it coming from each one of you guys!! We're all in the same boat here and this goes to show in every post I read!!

I referred to these incidents, only to show our friend Matt that even big shot famous artists have haters, one can't help having them. So we just accept it and move on. It doesn't have to do with developing thicker skin or harder stomach...it's something like the flu, it happens, and we don't make a fuss about it!! Hahaha!! Thanks for your nice words bro

bluesbird

@cgreen: Seen all that too...it's childish indeed...it's a long subject, but to me, most mealheads are really immature people. Don't get me wrong, I'm a heavy metal fan myself...!! But music isn't politics, some should really get that to their heads!!

Joseph

@matt53
One other thing i should have mentioned.
From experience having critics can be the best thing to fuel your desire to overcome and succeed.
Critics can be viewed as a negative, but they can also be very positive in terms of driving for the final result.
Wouldn't you just love to prove them all wrong.
I would.
Peace.

Joshua

Never let people who don't know, tell those who do, how it's done. Afterall...what do they know?

I starting singing in 2008 and I'd be glad to post two recordings of the change in that period of time. Had I given up, I wouldn't be in a kick-ass 80's tribute band singing hair metal...honestly...like I said, what do they know. Pursue your passion. Oh, here's the now video...you'll have to ask for the "before"...  

Nothing But A Good Time - Poison (a half step up from the original)  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g93CbqAI9Uk

highmtn

OK, 

So I'm asking...  Before?

;^)

Bob

Joshua

It won't let me upload an MP3... is there a size limit?

matt53

Hey Josh, pitch-perfect cover and maybe better than the original, though I'm not much of a Poison fan. You have really inspired me to work harder at these songs and I wish the best of luck to you.
P.S. Nice wigs XD

seeker

Hey , I cannot even practice because of my family .... they are always criticizing , I have to bear with it and come up with a solution !

RiffandPlay

I wonder how Myles Kennedy sounded when he started to sing..

koko5

How to deal with negative feedback on your singing when you know your voice is good? please let me know, I know this is an old discussion but the answer to my question is very important I am appealing to the admin. Please approve my post, Thanks

sabrina_CH

Yo matt35

Do you sing because of them or because you love to sing?

Focus, practice (in a place where you are alone and nobody can hear you - if possible), love what you do and don't do it to get good feedback - cause that would be just sad.

There will always be some people who dislike what you do - even family members and friends. So what?

Following things helped me:
1. Answer the question "why do I sing"
2. focus on point 1
3. learn to laugh at myself (even when I messed up on stage)
4. hear them out (negative feedback), analyze it (check audio or live recordings by yourself and be honest; is the feedback constructive or just their opinion?), think about it as a chance to grow and get better but NEVER EVER let that stop you from doing what you love - sounds cheesy but it's true.
5. use the negative feedback as a booster ("now more than ever")
6. hand your microphone over to your "haters" while smiling and ask them to sing
7. maybe (if you have a very good and close relationship with your feedback givers) talk about your feelings when their feedback bring you down or even hurt you (but be very cautious with whom you share your dreams or goals)
8. search for honest people who like you (and are for you) and ask them to give constructive feedback

Keep on singing Matt35 and have fun doing it

charlie_v

My daughter says i sound like a strangled cat. She’s probably right!

I practise when I’m alone in the house as much as possible. I’m sure all the cracking as I go through & above the passagio must sound terrible, but it’ll only get better if I practise!

Keep going! You can’t be a great guitarist without years of practice. Same with your voice!