Help: Girlfriend won't sing
PontusLindberg
Member Posts: 8
And I'm not entirely sure where to put this, so if I picked the wrong category then my bad.
I've been wanting to get the program for a little more than a year, doing pretty ok on my own. However, it hasn't been possible due to economic issues. I decided to take the huge step and get Volume 1 about a month back, and it was amazing.
So I thought I'd also buy a copy for my girlfriend, for christmas. She used to love singing, and couldn't stop doing it. But once she started taking vocal lessons in the town where we live, her self-confidence sort of dropped - within weeks. And it just kept on going. It went as far as her quitting singing completely and not being able to talk without hating her own voice.
She was quite literally in tears (of joy) when she opened her gift, and I promised I'd be there to support her as best possible. So we started doing the course together, but when it came to the actual practical use she couldn't. She barely made a noise and teared up. As she describes it: "I have a really weird fear of me failing, cause I know I'll get annoyed and angry at myself. It's a really bad feeling."
The only times I've heard her sing this past year or so is when there's a song on the radio playing loudly, and she says it's cause there's "not only her voice" playing.
I'm not sure what to do, cause I just want to get her on her legs again. What do you guys think?
If it helps, here's an example of her singing about 5 months back or so. She wanted to do it herself, but it required a lot of support from me to get her through it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAAB2OjYyCM
Apologies if my english is bad - I'm born Canadian but I've lived in Sweden for most of my life.
Best Answers
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highmtn
Administrator, Moderator, Enrolled, Pro, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 15,384
Tell your girlfriend that she sounds very good.
She should take you up on your gift of the KTVA program. If she were to do the exercises and follow the instructions in the video lessons, her voice would grow in many ways that would help her to feel better about the way she sounds.
It is very common for many people to hate the sound of their own voice, and to have an aversion to allowing others to hear their voice. We all go through this, actually, to some degree. We beat ourselves up and tell ourselves that we are no good and will never be any good. That is a lie we tell ourselves.
Actually it is a lie from the enemy. And the enemy lies to us to make us feel that we are worthless. And then we tell ourselves we are worthless.
She should not listen to this lie. She has worth and she has a voice that should be allowed to flourish and grow! Her voice wants to be released from suppression and allowed to sing out!
I would love to hear her working on the exercises and growing her voice. I hope she decides to let her voice soar.
All the Best to you and your friend!
Bob
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ragnar
Pro Posts: 410
+1 on the fact that she definitely sounds very pleasant, no reason to feel bad or shy at all regardless of whether she does want to improve or not. I'm sure you've told her a million times, but maybe hearing it from us strangers can help.I would point out to her as well the advantage of KTVA, as opposed to live coaching, is that Ken just lays the out the ideas and concepts for us to apply, without ever being able to physically judge us. Now in one way that is obviously less than optimal, but for your girlfriend it should be ideal since it shouldn't mess with her self-esteem.There's no way I would be able to practice freely if I knew people could hear me. And that's now even now when I'm fairly confident that I at least have certain capabilities. When I was still starting out and disliked my voice there would be absolutely no way.
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