This sounds pretty good. You are using a nice, bright tone. You have good cord closure.
Your pitch is good.
One pointer that I have for you is this. Sustain your vowels, but do NOT sustain the consonants.
An example of this would be on the word "out" at 0:52, which is pronounced like AAwt.
You kind of sing that like AA-wwwwwwwwwwt, sustaining in part, after the AA on the wwwwwwwwwww. Don't sing the consonant until it's time to cut-off the note.
So instead you would sing such a note as AAAAAAAAAAAAA-wt. See what I mean?
It's that way for any vowel or consonant. Consonants start and end syllables, but the vowels sustain them. So, for instance if you were going to sing the word "Park" you would Never sing it PPPPPPPPPPPParrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, right? Sustain on the vowels and keep the consonants very light and very short.
Your demo sounds good, and I like your voice.
Keep up the good work.
You might sing it instead like P-AH-rk with a short P and sustaining the AH for as long as the note needs to be, and then barely pronouncing the r and k.
Yes, you are on a good track, my friend. Keep doing what you're doing.
You are improving!