If you don't mind, I would like to comment on your songwriting. This is just my opinion, and others may think otherwise. That's fine.
Because of the nature of the lyrics: Sadness, hurt, etc. I think you should change the cadence of your lyrics. In other words, a line like "But we wanted it to work" you are saying it very rapidly. This is about feelings and pain, so I would do it more like:
Buuuuuuuuut, we waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-teeeeeeeeeeeeed iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit to wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooork....
See what I mean? Sustain those vowels and don't chop it up so fast into a lot of consonants. The vowels are where you get to express your feelings.
I don't mean to intrude on your songwriting, but we're amongst friends here.
Comments
If you don't mind, I would like to comment on your songwriting. This is just my opinion, and others may think otherwise. That's fine.
Because of the nature of the lyrics: Sadness, hurt, etc. I think you should change the cadence of your lyrics. In other words, a line like
"But we wanted it to work" you are saying it very rapidly. This is about feelings and pain, so I would do it more like:
Buuuuuuuuut, we waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-teeeeeeeeeeeeed iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit to
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooork....
See what I mean? Sustain those vowels and don't chop it up so fast into a lot of consonants. The vowels are where you get to express your feelings.
I don't mean to intrude on your songwriting, but we're amongst friends here.
All the Best.
Bob
I'm really glad you commented on it
Thanks again