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Know-it-all Father Won't Budge

gracarvegracarve Pro Posts: 22
Hey everyone! I have been doing the course for almost a year now and my voice has improved tremendously, but while I'm doing my vocal exercises or singing a song my father always has something about it. I know he doesn't think the course works, but I've tried explaining to him everything I've learned and how he sees it is wrong, he keeps giving me the same old answer of "stay in your range and stop pushing so hard you're going to cause damage" when I know what I'm doing. I even tried explaining to him that I wasn't pushing or hurting myself, but he gives me stuff about what he learned when he was in a church choir on how I'm not supposed to have a big voice and that I need to stay in my natural range and not go any higher or else that is considered pushing or hurting myself when it is not. No matter how much I try to explain to him on how wrong he is, he always has to to say something to try and prove me wrong all because in his mind, he's been singing "longer" than I have and he "knows better" even though I have been putting in so much work into my voice and learning so much more than what he all ready knows vocal-wise, but he still thinks he is right. Any advice would be appreciated on how I can prove to him that this course works and that my voice is fine would be very much appreciated.


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    nonsectarianbluesnonsectarianblues Pro, 2.0 PRO Posts: 4
    Unfortunately, you may not be able to prove to him that the course works by arguing with him. He seems unshiftable in his belief about what constitutes proper singing technique. Also, he obviously cares for you and, in his mind, is trying to protect you. He's your father, so you need to respect him, but that doesn't mean you need to give up your own thoughts and beliefs to appease him. Honor him, and weigh his advice, but also make your own path in life. Show him patience and let the quality of your singing eventually win him over.
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    highmtnhighmtn Administrator, Moderator, Enrolled, Pro, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 15,359
    nsb speaks wisely.

    You've pretty much explained that he has already decided the matter. Even if he hears you singing well, he may still think that what you are doing is harmful to your voice, because he has already made up his mind.

    We often cannot win the approval of those who disapprove of one thing or another about what we choose in life. We have to let them have their beliefs and continue to carry our own.

    It's not likely that your Dad's choir director had even half of the knowledge about the capabilities of the voice. It's also quite likely that the choir director was only trying to help prevent choir members from hurting their voices. That said, Ken does know what he's talking about, and if you follow his instructions, you can have good vocal health AND a powerful/versatile voice.

    People tend to fear what they don't understand, and they may fight fiercely against it. It's better that your father cares about you and wants the best for you, even if his fear may be misguided.
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    bentkbentk Moderator, Pro, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 1,650
    Very good advice right here.

    Keep doing KTVA, we all know it works great.
    Have you ever performed on-stage or anything?
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    seanjhseanjh Pro, 2.0 PRO Posts: 7
    gracarve said:

    I have been doing the course for almost a year now and my voice has improved tremendously

    @gracarve ^ That's the most important thing with singing, and anything else really. You have taken the time to study and work at a craft, seeing the results within yourself. It didn't happen over night, and you worked hard to get those results.

    To often people, even those close to us, are projecting themselves. Their fears, doubts, jealousy, or any number of things. @nonsectarianblues is on point. Fathers often give us a hard time because they want they want us to be our best. The more you do it your way and show your dedication to the training as 'the proof is in your voice', he will come to respect that. Whether or not he enjoys your style and songs, that can't be said for sure, so why let it stop you?

    There will always be someone offering (or forcing) their opinion on you. Singing and improving as you have, it's clear you're doing this for yourself, and that's what matters in the end.

    Seeking construct criticism, such as that you with find in this forum of your peers, is very important and canto help you improve, because we're all here to support each other become the best we can be.

    Take care, and remember to always have fun with it! :smile:

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