Home Psychology of Singing

I don't think I have what it takes.

I just listened to myself sing and now all my confidence is shot. That feeling of just hating everything that comes out of your mouth. That feeling like there is nothing good about your voice whatever is so bad that I wouldn't even post something for you to listen to.

All those times when people say to you "oh don't sing"... maybe they were right...

I don't know how to get past this.


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    highmtnhighmtn Administrator, Moderator, Enrolled, Pro, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 15,359
    Your pendulum will swing back the other direction, and you will forgive yourself for being imperfect. Sometimes when you get that self-loathing from hearing yourself on a recording, you just have to keep listening to it, and making objective decisions about what you need to do to fix whatever it is that you think isn't right.

    You have to desensitize yourself from your flaws. You are going to have flaws until you become flawless, and most of us are never completely flawless... but we can get pretty good.

    Before you know it (or maybe a little excruciatingly longer) you will catch yourself hearing yourself doing something that actually isn't terrible. Or even something that sounds pretty darned good...

    But watch out, because that pendulum will come back and forth as we try to move forward.

    Be your own best friend, not your own most brutal critic.

    Don't beat yourself up. It takes a lot of improving to get really good, and that takes time.

    You'll make it.

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    MatsyMatsy Pro Posts: 168
    I think the only way past it is through... even though I am super down about everything right now I am not known for quitting. :p

    So... I posted a link in the Audition Practice thread for some other ears to hear what is going on.
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    bentkbentk Moderator, Pro, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 1,650
    I have been very insecure as well about my singing. I hated my recordings, choked easily on higher stuff and had a lot of pitch issues. The first time i went to sing with a friend and play guitar, jamming some songs, i felt so bad afterwards because it wasn't very good. He was probably expecting more as he knew i was doing this whole program and stuff. But he was honest and kind to me (more so, i knew what i had to work on from then, and really helped me in the right direction. Positive things can come from dissapointments.).

    Now i am actually in a stage where i'm starting to like my singing. I even get compliments. It's not about getting compliments, but it helps that people like the sound, and, to a certain extent, the quality of your singing (this depends on the understanding of singing from the listener of course). It's an undeniably good feeling when someone is impressed of your singing.

    My singing isn't perfect, but pitch is good now, a lot less stress and everything is just so much EASIER. Tone has improved tremendously too. That tone will come with good technique and good muscle memory. You really build a muscle memory. However, i went through a whole process to get here, and of course i am not finished.

    Don't want to talk more about myself here, just to reassure you that there will be ups and downs. You are not alone in this. Some downs are just hard to get over. There are no quick results unfortunately. A few things in the program can actually instantly help your singing, but you have to grow and have patience to become good, very good and even pure excellence.

    Post your problems here, try and get confirmation where it's needed, or seek advice to change something you might be doing wrong. This forum has been just as important to me as the volumes themselves. And i think that is a really big compliment.

    Good singing to you,

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    TimburTimbur 2.0 PRO Posts: 52
    edited September 2018
    @Matsy, I just read your posts and the great responses and I was wondering how you are doing now? I have the exact same feelings you do at times and I know I have to be patient with myself. It is very frustrating when you have a passion and you see others belting out songs with what seems like little to no effort.
    I hope you stuck to it and I am waiting to hear your response.

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