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Nervous when singing in front of people

I've been playing guitar about 2 years and I've started singing and playing in the last 2 months or so but about 2 months ago I sung and played for some friends and it just felt terrible the nerves made my throat tighten my hands start to miss notes and it didn't go well and I didn't sound good which led me to stop playing guitar completely and also stop singing for a month. I started again a month ago and it has been going well but today I tryed playing and singing neon by john mayer which was easy to play and sing by myself but when I played it in front of friends the same thing happened. Im not sure what will help me have more confidence in front of people.

Comments

  • sjonrokz4usjonrokz4u 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,287
    Practice practice practice then do do do. Eventually confidence will come but there’s a guy who posted on here a couple times. I belieyhe was an older dude getting back in to it. For some reason I think he had said he was friends with the guys from queensryche. He gave a piece of advice that I’ve been trying to incorporate. Don’t give a fuck what they think. Don’t get me wrong I very much care but trying to adopt that don’t give a fuck thing. There’s a way to do both if that makes any sense
  • WigsWigs Moderator, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 5,042
    Try recording yourself and sing to the camera as if its a person. Even the act of recording yourself puts some pressure on to perform well but at least if you falter, you can give it another go and only you have seen it. Then once you get a really good take that you are happy with, show it to people. This will help build your confidence bit by bit. Ulimately, the only real way to get rid of the nerves is to perform infront of people.
  • JethroDavisonJethroDavison Member Posts: 28
    Yes I have been filming myself I even posted 2 short covers on YouTube a week ago. And yeah my friends often just act chilled and are like eh wasn't bad or and some are like wow that was good so it's difficult to actually know how it went. Not caring is something that will probably help alot and practicing singing is something I'm fairly new with so I'll definitely work on it. Thanks everyone for the advice.
  • jaclynserjaclynser Moderator, Pro, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 262
    Honestly, it just takes practice and performing in front of people more and more and more. Did you know that Jim Morrison had stage fright? In the beginning, he had to actually sing with his back to the audience because he was so nervous. It's a normal thing. And it is something you will get over in time.

    I often tell my students before a recital that they will probably feel nervous before going on, and that it is totally normal. I tell them that it actually helps to be aware ahead of time that you may feel that way, so it doesn't catch you off guard and you can do some prep work to help you through that fear. Some things I suggest are just taking a good deep breath, telling yourself that no matter what happens you did your best and this is where you are at right now. In time, it will get easier.

    Just keep doing it! People who act like they are "too cool" to seem like they care or don't give constructive feedback aren't worth worrying about anyway. And the people who are there that cheer you on and tell you that you did great are a wonderful support system that will help you boost your confidence. :)
  • EmanueleEmanuele 2.0 PRO Posts: 100
    Hi. I have done improv theater for some years now and here is a trick I use when I am on stage: I think - don't do your best.

    It may sound counterintuitive but it works since it releases you from success expectation.

    Tell me if it works for you! :smile:
  • JethroDavisonJethroDavison Member Posts: 28
    Thats awesome thank you
  • Furious_PhilFurious_Phil Moderator, Pro, 2.0 PRO, 3.0 Streaming Posts: 1,421
    @JethroDavison ... While over preparation is what I used to do, so that even if i got distracted, I'd still finish the song well enough; there was something that changed with that a few years back.

    My main motto is "Practice like you're the worst, perform like you're the best"... so it kind of stems from that a bit. Even still, I still usually take a few rounds of box breathing to calm nerves, but my mindset is now something like:
    " I am going to perform for you now to the best of my ability in this given moment. Let's take a journey together and see what we can discover. "

    I don't feel nervous much anymore, because I know that they aren't there to judge me or watch me fail, they legitimately want me to share something special with them and they want me to succeed. It is now more of a semi-relaxed pleasure as I know the music, and I can hit the notes... and maybe, just maybe there will be a little touch of magic in a song or 2 that generates a few goosebumps in the audience :+1:

    Peace.
  • HumanRobotHumanRobot Member Posts: 246
    Hi

    Stagefright is the best thing that can happen to you when performing - keep doing what you do :)

    Human Robot
  • Chris82Chris82 2.0 PRO Posts: 594
    edited November 2020
    I have to agree with @Wigs and @jaclynser on this one. The only effective way to get over your fear and nervousness is to perform for other people on a regular basis. Even then you're not going to get rid of the fear 100%. Bono of U2 has stated publicly multiple times that even after decades of touring he still get's nervous to perform every single time.

    I've found Karaoke was almost a perfect thing for me to get over my fears of performing. It's really nice because Karaoke is one of those things where people don't expect everyone who grabs the mic to be able to sing perfectly. The Karaoke audiences tend to be very supportive regardless of your performance. If that sounds unbearably uncomfortable to even think about then I would recommend just going to a Karaoke Bar and just watch other people perform, after hearing a couple of people slaughter a song and nothing bad happens it might give you the motivation to give it a try.
  • sjonrokz4usjonrokz4u 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,287
    Stage fright in NOT the best thing that can happen to you and the only way to get more comfortable is to know your voice feel confidence. I agree with what the others have said. And do the karaoke until you get more confident. The more times you sing in front of people the less it will bother you
  • HumanRobotHumanRobot Member Posts: 246

    Stage fright in NOT the best thing that can happen to you and the only way to get more comfortable is to know your voice feel confidence. I agree with what the others have said. And do the karaoke until you get more confident. The more times you sing in front of people the less it will bother you

    Hi

    I guess we will agree to disagree on that one.

    Human Robot
  • sjonrokz4usjonrokz4u 2.0 PRO Posts: 1,287
    No need to agree or disagree. Being fraught with stage fright is detrimental to your ability to perform and to execute. Having a little nerves are ok and natural but stage fright is a cancer to your confidence and your ability and it manifests mistakes
  • HumanRobotHumanRobot Member Posts: 246

    No need to agree or disagree. Being fraught with stage fright is detrimental to your ability to perform and to execute. Having a little nerves are ok and natural but stage fright is a cancer to your confidence and your ability and it manifests mistakes

    Hi

    yes stagefright isnt a nice thing to experience.

    Human Robot
  • esequiboesequibo Member Posts: 47
    do it all the time and you'll eventually be confortable about it. also focus on yourself and forget about eveyron else
  • cowoltercowolter Member Posts: 8
    edited November 2020
    When you can sing for someone who will allow you to fail freely that's where the magic starts. I think that will be your main key to get out of this rut. Is just getting used to the idea of singing without caring how it sounds even though someone is listening.
    Also I'd recommend the book relating to anxiety for all musicians. It's called "The Inner Game of Music" by Barry Green. This pretty much changed the game for me.
  • ScootermanScooterman 2.0 PRO Posts: 5
    Thanks for all the advise and tips. I'm new to the Ken Tamplin Academy and really like it so far.
    I started about six years ago playing guitar and then singing along a little later, and my oldest son and wife kept telling me to give it up. Turns out it was the only thing that could get my mind off my business and was now crucial for my sanity so in ignored them and kept it up. I got much better and eventually did some performances with some praise groups and it went very well.
    Now I'm learning the correct approach to singing and changing a few things so I can move forward and break my barriers which in some ways made me temporarily a worse singer and improved in other ways. looking forward to not having to concentrate on what I'm doin while singing soo much.
    By the way my wife and son like listening to me sing and play now (:
  • Joy69Joy69 2.0 PRO Posts: 9
    I've worked with many different performers and bands, some of the most famous have the worst time. I don't usually have nerves, except when I do competitions or feel like I'm getting judged. Have a hard time relaxing and doing my best in vocal lessons for the same "judgement" syndrome. If I'm with fans that are there to have a good time and enjoy what I'm bringing, it makes all the difference in the world. Nice to know from the back-ground of having my husband engineering (now deceased) working with the most famous of people and having them decide to go for lip syncing to their songs for awards rather than risk making a mistake on national TV. If they're too uptight to do it live, we should never feel bad.
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